Race Recap: The Huntsville Half Marathon

It's not even fair to call this experience a "race".  I like to think of myself as somewhat athletic, strong, and competetive.  But there's nothing like an event to really put things into perspective.

I started training for the Huntsville Half Marathon (or Full Monte) following a 10 week training schedule, called the FIRST Half Marathon Training Plan, found here at Runner's World online.  It was perfectly suited to me, as I am injury prone, and begin to seriously break down if I am required to run every day.  So with three runs per week, each with a different focuses, I felt like this would be ideal.

I started out being able to run continuously for 3 miles.  Not fast, just without stopping.  I found myself at week 4 having made big improvements.  My long runs were planned to be mostly downhill, similar to the Hunstville route.  But a few things threw a wrench into the works:

It was summer.  I do not do well in the heat.  I was having to get up at 6 am to get my runs in before the sun melted me into a puddle.

My kids were home.  I needed to do more cross training on my non-run days, but my responsibilities as a mother made me feel like I was doing great getting a workout in 3 times per week.  That is great, typically, but my poor stability muscles got completely ignored.  It's an excuse, I know, but nonetheless, it happened.

I got injured.  I knew it was going to happen.  My left IT band would completely seize at mile 5 or 6. I developed high hamstring tendinopathy, and was popping 4 ibuprophen prior to every run, which is a really unhealthy way to train, but was my reality.  It really sucked the fun out of running.

So while at week 4 I was crowing about how I was going to smash my original goal pace, by week 6 I was checking into how I could get my registration fee refunded.  I was so grateful that my husband had talked me down from the Full Monte cliff, and convinced me to do just the half.  But I carried on, doing alternative workouts for cardio and strength, and resting my injuries.

I believe I prepared well the week before the race, resting, eating, sleeping, and mentally preparing.  I picked up my bib and timing chip the day before, and became the proud owner of an real marathon event shirt.

The morning of the race we drove to Huntsville, about 45 minutes from home.  Race start time was a chill 9:30 am, so there was no early morning issues.  I got my number and chip on, ate a snack and jumped on the bus.  I sat next to a 21 year old kid, fresh home from his mission.  The girls were worried about my being alone without a friend on the bus, but I told them I'd make a new one.  And so I did.  At the drop off we parted ways, and I milled around in the crowd.

The race started 15 minutes late, and by this time the crowd was starting to get to me.  Strange people, strange smells, combined with my anxiousness about the race, made for some unpleasantness.  I spent the first three miles in a panic, trying to weave my way out of the craziness, swearing I would never run an event again, going nutso from all the sounds, breathing, music, and varying paces of the runners.  People with phones on their arms, playing music not into headphones, but into the open air.  Seriously.  It was nightmarish.

At mile 4 I was finally in the clear, and started enjoying myself.  The scenery was gorgeous, the course was a nice gentle downhill, the temperature was ideal, and the water stops spaced well.  I found myself at a nice speedy pace for me, around 8:30-9:00 min miles.  Miles sped by and suddenly I was at mile 7.  At mile 8 the course flattened out and came out into the sun.  And things started to get tricky.  I stuck in my headphones and cranked some tunes.

"May the Course be with you"! 

super awesome aid stations

At mile 9 I was feeling good still, feeling like I would beat my goal after all.  There started to be spectators along the road, and I was recognizing where we were.  Part of the problem was that I could see the park where we finished, but then we turned away from it, and mentally that was hard.

At mile 10 both my IT bands seized, and I mean completely froze.  About this time I got passed by the first-place full marathon winner.  That was a painful reminder...  I was feeling thirsty from heat, not from dehydration, and at mile 11 I drank some Gatorade that I felt get only as far as my sternum.  I was completely topped off. Even through the pain in my knees I kept running.  At this point my oldest daughter called me.  She was in Lake Tahoe and had apparently just woken up...She was calling to wish me luck, so I answered it and asked her to cheer for me really loud, which she did.  It was just the thing I needed.  I won't lie, I was emotional by this point.  Something about pushing yourself just gets raw.

The final couple turns I focused on passing people ahead of me.  In the final stretch I could hear my parents and kids ringing our cow-bells, our family cheering tradition.  My mom was complaining that she was the only one cheering, because usually I'm the other loud one cheering with her.  I broke down again when I saw them and veered over to high-five them.  My husband was toward the finish line trying to get a photo shot of me.  I was yelling his name so he would know I was coming, since he hadn't seen me yet.  I'm sure I looked like a crazy woman because I was all by myself screaming his name 50 feet from the finish line.  Whatever.  I really wanted him to see me.

I crossed the line with a huge smile at 2:12:46 (my original goal), and became the proud owner of an event finishers medal.  I know it's kitschy and faddish to run races, but I was so dang happy to have crossed that line.   The finish corral was super, with lots of drinks, fruit, and carbs, all of which I ate.  I was feeling super, one of my athletic endowments: I can exert forever and I recover quickly.  I could feel soreness setting in, which is mostly due to the fact that I ran mechanically strained for the last three miles to relieve the stress I was feeling in my knees.

The funniest thing about this event is that I felt really great up until mile 10.  I got the event photos, which I remember having taken at mile 6.  I even threw on a smile to show how awesome I was feeling.  But they all look like I was speed walking.  Every single one.  Nothing like a healthy dose of reality.  Ouch.

I would highly recommend the Hunstville Marathon & Half for first timers.  It is a fantastic course, the aid stations were well placed and the aid workers were legendary.  They were dressed up in Star Wars costumes at one, super hero women at another, one had a tunnel of the high school cheerleaders.  They provided Gatorade, water, bananas, oranges, pretzels, Skittles, & gels.  There were porta-potties just in case.  And the finishers corral was excellent with all the delicious treats you could want.  The only drawback was that they needed to start on time, and an hour earlier than they did to avoid the valley heat at noon at the finish.

I have done a few things that I am really proud of, things that made me dig deep and find out what I was really capable of.  The 50/20 (walking 50 miles in 20 hours) when I was 12.  Swimming a mile in open water.  Giving natural childbirth.  A sprint triathlon in 2006.  Cycling 100 miles in 2014.  And now a half marathon.  Each time I came through with a stronger sense of who I am, what is possible when I apply myself, and gratitude for the healthy body God has given me.  I wonder if I'll ever know my own full physical potential.  I'm crazy enough to want to find out, which why a full Iron Man triathlon dangles in front of me like a carrot, a possessed near-death carrot.  I don't know when that will happen, because after this event I know that I have an enormous amount of preparation to do and have a mountain of work to do to get there.

I am grateful for my family for being supportive of my crazy ideas.  My parents are the most giving and supportive people, cheering me on every step of my way, in everything, never doubting me.  My husband centers me, and helps me find success if I will just listen to him.  My girls get bored, but they make posters and ring bells, and smile and cheer with all their hearts.  I hope they learn from me that they can do anything they put their mind to, and the value of cheering someone on.

The Elephant in the Room: Un-diagnosed Medical Conditions and Families

So I've been gone a while.  The previous post about my Garmin watch...it was scheduled for July 22, but never published, so you get a two-fer today.  Yay!

I have many ideas swirling in my head about this blog.  I have tried several of them.  And I still feel at a loss, wandering the the miasma of the homemaking blogging world.  I am not a super-crafter.  I am not a photographer.  I am a woman, living a life with her family, making a home that is focused on God and family and struggling vainly to keep all the loose ends tied down.

I like to call it organic.  I think that means "lifestyle blog".  Am I right?  I don't know.  All I know is that my life involves many aspects, just like most women I know.  And over the summer things just got complicated, overwhelming, frazzled, and filled with fun with my kids.  I know I promised posts about free activities, parties, and food, but then life happened.  It has an annoying habit of doing that.

I've been dealing with an elephant in the room for the past 18 months.  It is big.  I want it to go away.  It is annoying and disruptive, and I like to ignore it. It has changed many things about our family life, the way we do things.  Some of them have been good changes, and some have been bad.  I can't share them all with you now, but I will start today with a little introduction to our big elephant.

My husband, Lance, has an un-diagnosed medical condition, sickness, ailment, whatever you want to call it.  We can't call it anything because no one knows what it is.  And it is deeply frustrating.

In February 2014 he had something that felt like a heart attack, which it wasn't, and for the next month we went to the ER probably 3 times for similar pain, as well as pain in the upper left quadrant of his abdomen.  He was scanned, ultrasounded, tested, CT'd, and every time came out 100%.

The only test he partially failed, as in 2% below allowable threshold, was a gall bladder ejection fracture, so it was decided to take that out.  It didn't help.

He went on a feeding tube for 18 days in March 2014, lost 30 lbs, started feeling better, went to the University of Utah Gastroenterology department, and was scoped through every inch of his digestive tract.  100%.  No answers.

He was having neck pain in August 2013 related to a bulging disc.  Finally found a doctor who admitted it was a problem and was willing to fix it.  Lance had Mobi-C disc replacement surgery between C6-C7 February of 2015.  It was a success, but still not a resolution to the overarching problem.

So while we feel blessed that he's not riddled with tumors, and that he keeps passing tests, we are beyond frustrated and tired of hearing that there is nothing anyone can do to help him.  We would love to have something to treat, to fight, to fix.

His energy is really low.  Simple things exhaust him.  He still has major headaches, pain in his abdomen, and now severe acid reflux, after the removal of his gall bladder.  And it all seems to be getting worse, rather than better.

We are so blessed that he is still able to work and provide for our family.  Having income, insurance, savings, and the other intangibles that being employed brings, makes us feel as if we can continue to search and fight for answers.

It has put our life on hold, however.  We have 15-, 13, & 11-year-old daughters, and it has been a real challenge to keep life going for them while our life is in limbo. They are the sweetest girls, taking care of him, and me, and helping us have joy in our family and home.  I know they are learning a lot.  Hopefully mostly good things...

I have completely lost faith in the healing power of the medical industry.  Nowhere can we find a doctor who is willing and able to start with the history, look at his global problem, think outside the box, keep in contact, and keep on trying to help my husband heal.

Throughout the past 18 months we have been surrounded by angels; family and friends who reach out in sympathy, empathy, and just listen.  I am forever grateful for them, and still rely on them heavily.

The end is not near, we have no answers, there is no plan, we are on our own.  I have a stack 3 feet high of books on healing your gut through food.  I won't lie, it's a daunting task.  I struggle to get dinner on the table without having to worry about dietary restrictions.  It frightens me.  And we still aren't sure if it is his gut at all.

But we have to keep trying.  We haven't been given trials so we can give up.  God has made us strong enough to make it through the kaleidoscope of challenges this experience presents.  We will conquer, we are just unsure of when that will be and how it will happen.

So in between crafts, recipes, fitness, nails, and fashion, tips, and other ways I try to hold on to my sanity, I'll be sharing a little bit more about the big elephant in our life, and how it affects our family.  This is the thing that will refine my family and make us fit for eternity, but it sure feels a lot like it's strangling the life out of me at the same time.

I look forward to sharing our journey with you in the hopes that I'll be able to make connections with women in the same boat, because I know there are a lot of you out there.  And it wouldn't hurt if we found the answer to his health crisis in the process.  And kept me sane.  That would be awesome.

Lots of love!

Tulle Skirts

I think they turned out well, don't you?  The gals were eager to put them on and were preening like peacocks all afternoon.  Success.

I am unhappy with the waistbands.  I mean, why am I pinning elastic on a custom-made skirt?

Perhaps because I was sick, short on patience, and time?  I plan on taking some time this week to fix that little problem.

One of the things that made this weekend even more meaningful were the amazing and inspiring messages we heard in LDS General Conference, combined with the celebration of the Resurrection of our Savior.  Every talk that was given is so applicable and timely, counsel that we can all use in our lives to better our homes, families, relationships, communities, and world.  We heard from living prophets & apostles what our focus should be for the next six months.  How lucky are we?!  Check out #ldsconf #becuasehelives #embark #sharegoodness to see some amazing things about this weekend.

You can listen to, read, or watch any of the LDS Conference addresses here.

This is a quote from one of my favorite talks, by Elder Wilford W. Andersen:

I loved the analogy of family life to an orchestra, and the gospel to the music we dance to.  Dancing without music is awkward and hard to understand, but when we hear and feel the music, the dancing comes naturally.  My girls and I love to dance, spontaneously and with great energy!  We love music and rhythm.  My deep desire is for my family to feel and hear the music & rhythm of the gospel of Jesus Christ, so their dancing will come naturally, spontaneously, and with great enthusiasm.  And I have determined to play the gospel tune more loudly and consistently in our home, so that their ears will be trained to hear, love, appreciate, & yearn for it.

Another Easter with my beautiful family.  How the years do fly by!

Family Road Trip

I have a friend who once said: "Going somewhere with your husband is a vacation.  If you take your kids, it's just a trip."  Well said!  The idea of leaving home fills me with excitement and anticipation, but there's always the thought of packing that slightly dampens my spirits.  What to take, how much, just in case, what if I forgot, what if we want to do, and a million other questions haunt the weeks previous to our departure.

We are a driving family.  We have only flown once as a family, and that was Hawaii which precludes the option.  So most of the time we are not limited to a number of bags, just our trunk space.  Which can be a both a good and a bad thing.

I am a light packer.  I can re-wear clothes for days, I carry minimal makeup, and I'll happily air-dry my hair and throw it in a pony tail or bun to avoid packing styling tools.  This might be the trademark of  "the-one-who-does-the-packing".    I have tried to pass this on to the girls.  Mr. is an over packer, and likes to be prepared for all eventualities.

As our children have grown, I have enjoyed typing up a list of what they need to pack a few days ahead and letting them go for it.  This allows them to decide what to take, and gives me time to wash something they want if it happens to be dirty. Only a couple of times have they forgotten items, and they're usually not important ones.  I forget the important things...like the time I forgot the baby backpack carrier when we had a baby and were going hiking...the tennis shoes and swimsuit of our youngest when we went to Disneyland...and several other stress-inducing omissions.  I blame it all on volume & pressure.

Trips usually require gear: camping gear, ski gear, coolers, water, automobile emergency kits, and the like which take up a significant amount of space.  For long trips we drive a "wagon" and when we bought the car, we also bought a roof-top hard-shell carrier, like Thule or Yakima boxes.  This has allowed us to comfortably fit into the car without holding a bag each on our laps.  The box can transfer to our larger truck as well, making for even more space for camping.

Several years ago I purchased a family toiletries bag from L.L. Bean, similar to this.  It has been super handy to have it all in once place, it can be carried into a bathroom or shower and hung up, and it carries a ton of items.

For our ski trip, I am going to put all the ski gear in the roof-top carrier, since it's all long, awkward, and bulky.  Bags will go in the back, along with the kitchen and food items, since the condos we are staying in do not have kitchenettes, and eating out every night with 21 of us is not a viable option.

Here is a comprehensive list of 35 Tips to Help Your Family Pack Lighter.  It's geared towards air travel, but definitely applies to car travel as well.

Number 22 I really like: When I was eight-year-old my grandparents took me and three of my cousins, ages 8, 10, & 12, to Cozumel Mexico for 2 weeks.  I know, right!?  They were and are the best grandparents of all time! They told us that everything we brought had to fit into a large backpack, including our fins & snorkel.  Whatever we brought we had to carry ourselves.  They were so wise!  Being world-travelers themselves they were fully aware of the benefits of traveling lightly, and had first-hand knowledge of the fact that you really don't end up missing the extra bulk.

I really liked the tip about packing by day for road trips, found in this article by Macaroni Kid.  Instead of packing individually and pulling out every bag every day, pack one bag with the things everyone needs for one day.  Genius if you are road-tripping from hotel to hotel.

So, off I go to pack the family for our trip.  Not vacation.  Because it's really going to be a lot of work.  But it will also be a ton of fun to spend a few days with our extended family, doing an activity we love, and we'll come back with a multitude of fun memories, photos, and stories that we'll cherish forever.  And that's why we tackle family vacations, after all.

Pictures of You

I hope you've noticed the much-improved profile photo on the left.  Clever Girl is very happy about the change.  It is very seldom that I get my photo taken.  I'm always the one behind the camera.  The girls typically refuse to take the photos that I request...much too awkward, apparently.  We have never had professional family portraits taken, either.  Mr. not a fan.

So we made a date with my sister-in-law, Katrina.  She does amazing work with her iPhone and she has a DSLR, so that right there makes her a professional, in my book.

While most of the time I felt like a donkey braying with my eyes squinted shut, she assured me that they were turning out great!  She had us wander a cute nature path and do some funny poses and kept us laughing the whole time.  

I am blown away by Katrina's work!  It didn't surprise me, she is amazing.  It is a treasure for me to have excellent photos of my daughter WITH me.  I cherish the phase of life we're in and I feel like these capture the things I love about now: that she's taller than me, that we have similar taste in clothes, that we love shoes, that she sometimes hugs me, that she laughs, that we have a similar profile, that she's a teen-ager, that I'm a mother, that she's a beautiful almost-woman, that she loves Chuck Taylors, that she's beginning a monumental stage of her life, that she has an artistic eye, and that I get to spend my life with her, love her & be her mother.  I love you, Clever Girl.

Katrina, thank you a million times a million.  These make me so happy.  Love ya, sis!  Oh yes, and my next request is our family portrait.  Surely you can get your brother to smile?!

Raising Daughters: Tweens & Teens

I wasn't expecting all daughters.  As a teenager, I always imagined myself raising boys.  But since when do things happen as we imagined them?  We were blessed to have three daughters in 4 years.  I constantly say that it is the greatest thing that ever happened to us.

Now that they're almost all teenagers, I'm wondering...

As my husband and experience keep reminding me, while I'm covering my ears and humming loudly in a fruitless attempt at denial, being a great mom of great girls all comes down to example.

I love being a mother and wife.  I love staying home and doing all the things my mom did for me, and my husband's mom did for him.  It is an abundant life, & I am so grateful.  But so many times I find myself expressing frustration, saying no, and reminding my girls of all they ways they're falling short. I wonder if my girls think I enjoy being a mom...and if they look forward to being mothers, too.

Starting this blog filled a few purposes.  One of them is to embark on a joint venture with my teenage daughter(s).  They are smart, talented, & have such great ideas, and I wanted a place where we could share that together.  Another purpose is for me to reconnect with what I love so much: being a mother.  Not the maid or the cook, taxi driver, or nanny.  I am all those things, but the "sprinkles" that make it magic are that I'm their mother.  And I love them.  

Sometimes I get stuck in the "tough strong woman" role.  Accomplishing tasks becomes my focus, at the expense of the peace & contentment of our home, usually.  The softness and love disappear to make way for the check-list beast.

I love this quote & I look at it often:

“Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.”  Margaret D. Nadauld (read the entire article here)

Whether you are religious or not, this rings true for all of us.  These qualities are the leavener, or seasonings, that make all the roles we as women fill become sweeter, fuller, & more meaningful.

Over the past few years I've come to recognize a few simple truths in our life with our daughters.  When mornings go swerving off into a fiery pileup of confusion & tears, or bedtime becomes a riot requiring smoke bombs & a big stick, I can usually point to one of these things and say: "yep. I should'a done that".

1.  Be consistent.  Nothing confuses them more than when you take their phone away for one infraction or one child, but not another similar time.  They are too smart and they can spot waffling from a mile away.  And they will use it against you.

2.  Don't yell.  Walk away.  Because you know she won't.  Smile. Count to 10. Nothing destroys the atmosphere like a yelling match, which it WILL become.

3.  Set boundaries, and let the rest go. Curfew, phone rules, and disrespect are no-nos.  Weird hair, borrowing your shirts, messy rooms, and less-than-ideal teeth brushing, as difficult as they are to ignore, try to just let them go.  Nitpicking makes them feel defensive and attacked.  Provide more opportunities for them to have success than failure.

4.  Be willing to admit when you're wrong.  Daughters are smart.  They see hypocrisy and know when you are wrong, the real times, not just when they aren't getting their way.  Be willing to say sorry, admit when you've made a mistake, & change your behavior,

5.  Have fun together.  Spend time away from home, without spending money.  Set up daddy/daughter or mother/daughter dates.  Hike, walk, sit at a park, drive.  Step away from the responsibilities and madness and soak in her amazing personality & beauty.

6.  Smile & laugh more.  Don't let your smile, laugh & humor be as rare as a sighting of dodo.  You  make others, & yourself, happy when you act happy.  Let yourself be happy in their presence.

7.  Use kind & uplifting words.  If you think it's scary to hear your toddlers repeat what you say. Brace yourself.  With your daughters & teens, it's terrifying.  They love you and mimic you.  It's never too late to be a great example.

8.  Be available.  Even if it's 10:30 pm & they were supposed to be in bed an hour ago.  If they get chatty, be there.

9.  Give them your full attention.  As annoying as it is to you for her to be on her phone in your presence, it's 10x more annoying to her when you're on yours.  It doesn't matter how little time you spend on your device or how important your business is, put it away when you're together.  Ask questions, get her to elaborate, look her in the eyes.  Too often I hear myself saying "short version, please".

10.  Cheer them on.  Compliment them.  A lot.  Encourage them.  Be their biggest fan. Ask for their opinions.  Validate them as girls & women.  Show unflagging interest in whatever they are doing or saying. Get out your cowbells & ring with both hands.

I am far from perfect.  I write this as a reminder to myself of the things I know, the things I've learned, and as a way to remind myself to do what I know.  The years I have my girls under my wing are growing short.  I know they'll remember the mom who drove a trailer like a truck-driver, the nag-about-jobs mom, and the short-version mom.  Hopefully they will remember me as patient, happy, and fulfilled.  And I want them to remember that they make me smile, laugh, proud, and that I purely love being part of their lives & being their mom.