The Elephant in the Room: Un-diagnosed Medical Conditions and Families

So I've been gone a while.  The previous post about my Garmin watch...it was scheduled for July 22, but never published, so you get a two-fer today.  Yay!

I have many ideas swirling in my head about this blog.  I have tried several of them.  And I still feel at a loss, wandering the the miasma of the homemaking blogging world.  I am not a super-crafter.  I am not a photographer.  I am a woman, living a life with her family, making a home that is focused on God and family and struggling vainly to keep all the loose ends tied down.

I like to call it organic.  I think that means "lifestyle blog".  Am I right?  I don't know.  All I know is that my life involves many aspects, just like most women I know.  And over the summer things just got complicated, overwhelming, frazzled, and filled with fun with my kids.  I know I promised posts about free activities, parties, and food, but then life happened.  It has an annoying habit of doing that.

I've been dealing with an elephant in the room for the past 18 months.  It is big.  I want it to go away.  It is annoying and disruptive, and I like to ignore it. It has changed many things about our family life, the way we do things.  Some of them have been good changes, and some have been bad.  I can't share them all with you now, but I will start today with a little introduction to our big elephant.

My husband, Lance, has an un-diagnosed medical condition, sickness, ailment, whatever you want to call it.  We can't call it anything because no one knows what it is.  And it is deeply frustrating.

In February 2014 he had something that felt like a heart attack, which it wasn't, and for the next month we went to the ER probably 3 times for similar pain, as well as pain in the upper left quadrant of his abdomen.  He was scanned, ultrasounded, tested, CT'd, and every time came out 100%.

The only test he partially failed, as in 2% below allowable threshold, was a gall bladder ejection fracture, so it was decided to take that out.  It didn't help.

He went on a feeding tube for 18 days in March 2014, lost 30 lbs, started feeling better, went to the University of Utah Gastroenterology department, and was scoped through every inch of his digestive tract.  100%.  No answers.

He was having neck pain in August 2013 related to a bulging disc.  Finally found a doctor who admitted it was a problem and was willing to fix it.  Lance had Mobi-C disc replacement surgery between C6-C7 February of 2015.  It was a success, but still not a resolution to the overarching problem.

So while we feel blessed that he's not riddled with tumors, and that he keeps passing tests, we are beyond frustrated and tired of hearing that there is nothing anyone can do to help him.  We would love to have something to treat, to fight, to fix.

His energy is really low.  Simple things exhaust him.  He still has major headaches, pain in his abdomen, and now severe acid reflux, after the removal of his gall bladder.  And it all seems to be getting worse, rather than better.

We are so blessed that he is still able to work and provide for our family.  Having income, insurance, savings, and the other intangibles that being employed brings, makes us feel as if we can continue to search and fight for answers.

It has put our life on hold, however.  We have 15-, 13, & 11-year-old daughters, and it has been a real challenge to keep life going for them while our life is in limbo. They are the sweetest girls, taking care of him, and me, and helping us have joy in our family and home.  I know they are learning a lot.  Hopefully mostly good things...

I have completely lost faith in the healing power of the medical industry.  Nowhere can we find a doctor who is willing and able to start with the history, look at his global problem, think outside the box, keep in contact, and keep on trying to help my husband heal.

Throughout the past 18 months we have been surrounded by angels; family and friends who reach out in sympathy, empathy, and just listen.  I am forever grateful for them, and still rely on them heavily.

The end is not near, we have no answers, there is no plan, we are on our own.  I have a stack 3 feet high of books on healing your gut through food.  I won't lie, it's a daunting task.  I struggle to get dinner on the table without having to worry about dietary restrictions.  It frightens me.  And we still aren't sure if it is his gut at all.

But we have to keep trying.  We haven't been given trials so we can give up.  God has made us strong enough to make it through the kaleidoscope of challenges this experience presents.  We will conquer, we are just unsure of when that will be and how it will happen.

So in between crafts, recipes, fitness, nails, and fashion, tips, and other ways I try to hold on to my sanity, I'll be sharing a little bit more about the big elephant in our life, and how it affects our family.  This is the thing that will refine my family and make us fit for eternity, but it sure feels a lot like it's strangling the life out of me at the same time.

I look forward to sharing our journey with you in the hopes that I'll be able to make connections with women in the same boat, because I know there are a lot of you out there.  And it wouldn't hurt if we found the answer to his health crisis in the process.  And kept me sane.  That would be awesome.

Lots of love!

Tiny House Project: Laundry Room Makeover

Life is all about perspective.  Nine weeks ago we were doing this, to replace our 20-year-old washing machine, schlepping the old and new washers home and to the dump, and reveling in the new-fangled-ness of technology.

Last week the dryer pooped out.  It was much less traumatic than when the washer went out.  And we waited the three days and let it be delivered, so I have zero cool trailer-hauling pictures to show how tough and pioneer-like I am.  It turned out to be pure heaven.  We got the matching dryer put in, and the old one carted away.  I thought only super-rich people got that kind of service.  Turns out they do it for average joes, too.

Then I stepped back and took a good look.  Whoa.

I remembered a quote I read in "The Happiness Project": 

" No money is better spent than what is laid out for domestic satisfaction." -Samuel Johnson

We all realize that things need to be done, and spend a lot of our time and energy gearing ourselves up to the task.  Laundry, bathroom cleaning, exercising, mending projects, and organization and just a few of those tasks.  And when the mood is right, you just know you have to dig in and go for it.

But sometimes (most of the time) reluctance to spend money is the reason for not improving something.  Somehow we feel we shouldn't spend money on improving our home's cosmetic atmosphere, or as Mr. Johnson put it, our domestic satisfaction.  When by sheer hours of use, home projects have by far the highest R.O.I. (return on investment).  If you were a company, a high R.O.I. makes spending money on a project a no-brainer.  Dealing with the frustrations that come from disorganization can be far more taxing on our attitude, feelings, and happiness than we realize, and this space was pressing on my last nerve.

For 12 years I've been washing in the basement, looking at the gray-painted cement wall, and the early 1970's sheetrock-and-tape in i'm-not-saying-what-color-of-yellow wall.  I knew the new washer and dryer had to have a better home and that I needed a brighter, cleaner, more organized space in which to spend the third of my life-time which is doing laundry.

The "hanging" situation: the water and natural gas pipes serve as my drying racks.  They also serve as our overflow closet, sports gear storage, seasonal use storage, and etc.  The hanging clothes block the natural light from the window.  Had to change.

The storage situation: laundry soap and sundry are on the floor. Along with everything else.  The laundry room is the gateway to the storage section of our basement, thus everything gets dumped just inside the door without ever making it to its appropriate space.  I'm sure this never happens to you.

The square footage: technically the laundry portion is 15 ft long x 11 ft wide, quite a large space in reality.  Perspective made me realize this and be grateful for it.

The Plan: repair the wall on the left and add a bit of sheet rock where there was just a stud wall; paint the cement wall behind the washer and dryer on the right; sort, box, and re-position the hanging items so the daylight could come in; add shelving above the washer/dryer and the folding counted to clear the appliance-tops and make folding at the counter an actual possibility.

I began by adding a shelf above the washer and dryer on a set of sturdy U-brackets (typically used for garage storage), securely bolted into the floor joists above.  Then I added a wire shelf.  Once I got all the stuff on it, it sagged terribly in the middle.  My fix? Two daisy chains of zip-ties nailed to the floor joists.  And a promise to revisit that solution at a later date.

You can see the old gray wall behind.

This is a portion of the wall I wanted to sheet rock.  It bears the doodlings of my kids at the time we finished the front half of the basement, and my meticulous notes about when we snaked the clogged floor drain and other major plumbing incidents.  I'm weird like this.  When I got the sheet rock up, the gals were in a tizzy for covering it up.  Solution: I took pics and I will frame them and hang them on the wall.  They really missed it that much.

The back wall was first to be painted.  I did one coat of primer and two coats of white paint.  I chose the first white I saw in the cheapest paint product Home Depot carried.  I taped off the stripes using Frog Tape, and used the leftover paint from the gals' room from oh, about 4 years ago.  Does paint expire? I have no idea.   But it worked great and it was free.  I've always wanted to stripe something, it was really easy, super fun, and I love how it turned out.

Next was the sheet rock.  I used a large bucket of sheet rock mud all up fixing that icky wall.  I added the pieces of sheet rock to the wall that is to my left in the picture below.  I taped it and added a corner all by myself!  Just don't look too close...I will be hanging some strategically-placed decorations in awkwardly-low positions to hide the flaws.

This wall I did two coats of primer and two coats of paint, all speed-dried by a rotating fan.  At this point I begin running low on steam and the family upstairs is running rampant so this project needs to be done, stat.

I really do love plain white walls.

This is the taping for the stripes.  There's one more strip of tape that is completely covered by paint.  The trick with tape is to paint and then peel it off while the paint is still wet.  This prevents peeling.  It also promotes drips and runs if you have blobs in corners where you just, well, blobbed the paint on in a super-hurry.  Good thing I'm the master of cosmetic-repairs.

This is the Rubber Maid Closet Maid wire shelf: 20"x 4'.  The supports are a cinch, adjustablity is limitless, and I have the option of adding additional shelving elements if I find I need something different.

Some colorful (cheapo-clearance) baskets add cheer and organization, as do the wire shelving ad-ons.  My favorite is the basket to the left.  It is the new home of single socks, clearing some valuable space on my folding counter.

The table is the counter top from the original kitchen upstairs.  My wonderful and talented dad made it into a laundry folding table for me when we moved in.  It has saved my life.  Baskets fit under it neatly and I have a place to fold clean clothes, assuming it is not covered in clutter.  The best thing I added to the laundry room was this little, black, collapsible stool.  Now I can reach everything!

With a little work, everything is back nice and tidy.  At the end of my laundry space is my "craft nook".  I have wrapping, sewing, & crafting supplies here, along with my ridiculously out of control fabric stash, which is high on the list of purging projects.  The fire extinguisher is a must in a room with appliances and the electrical panel.

This is the newly designated hanging bar.  Supplemental closet items and hang-to-dry items go here, as do the rag box, beach towels, and other frequently used items.  My paint-can stash is here to, to keep paints at a comfortable temperature, so I can use them again in 4 years.

This shelf above the appliances gets everything off the ground and in a reachable place, utilizing valuable overhead space that would otherwise be empty.  Wire shelving lets light from the window through and prevents dust from gathering.  Paper towels are safe and dry from the occasional plumbing mishap.

The floor is still cement, and the floor joists are still exposed, but the white paint and fun stripe change the atmosphere drastically.  The continuity of the white and stripe help to define and unify the laundry space.  Visually this is so much more pleasing to my mind and heart. Everything has a place and a function.  There is ample light, and even daylight, too.

Perspective is everything.  I am so blessed to have a place to do laundry inside my home, and I'm even spoiled enough to have a craft center/table in my laundry room.  I never thought about it like that before. I find myself doing tiny loads of laundry for an excuse to spend time down here.  All I need now is some chocolate candies in that candy jar as a sweet little reward for all my hard work.

Remember it doesn't have to cost a bundle.  Check the classifieds for used shelving, counter tops to turn into tables, all at a screaming deal.  Be brave and do it yourself!  You're far more clever than you realize!

Let the laundry battle commence!  Or is it laundry therapy, now...?

Green...

A startling trend I've been noticing...and this doesn't include my green painted room. And this isn't in honor of St. Patrick's Day. 

What's your happy color?  Share on Instagram @thecleverwoman #cwmyhappycolor

Tiny House Projects: Kitchen Cabinet Doors

In September we decided to embark on our kitchen "refresh" or "update".  "Remodel" seems to large and important a word to assign to this minor, but also major, project.  No walls were knocked down, no new cabinets, just the doors & hardware.  And flooring, which I already posted here.

I had gotten a couple of bids from our local ad magazine from companies who refreshed kitchens, and made cabinet doors.  And frankly, I was shocked!  For a shaker-style door made of MDF, for 19 doors whose square footage was less than two sheets of plywood, they wanted $5,000.  >gasp< excuse me? And I politely showed them the door.  And put the project on the back burner for 5 years while I mulled this over in my mind.

I had finally decided to attack the project myself, after seeing my friend and neighbor make their own cabinet doors for their kitchen.  Seemed simple enough: one rectangle for the door, and four trim pieces attached for the shaker edging.  I have no doubts as to my own capabilities and am willing to try my hand at anything.  With a little guidance, practice, and adjustments, I'd do a smash-up job!  All I needed was a table saw...

One of my personal mottoes that makes me, well, me, is "it never hurts to ask".  I've borrowed everything from trailers to carpet cleaners.  The worst they could say is no, right?

My friend's husband and his father are cabinet hobbyists.  They have a full shop with all tools, and I knew that if I could spend a few hours in their shop cutting the pieces, and with a little bit of help drilling the hinge holes, we'd be set.  So I asked.

Absolutely not, she said.  My husband will do it for you.  Let me ask him.  This was my first no, but turned in to a very big YES.  He ended up being totally willing.  Realizing that what would take me several days, to a practiced cabinet maker would take hours.  We discussed materials (MDF, cheap), style (shaker), and he brought over a sample door that exceeded my expectations.  Go ahead, I said, and PayPal'ed him the money for supplies.

Two weekends later I had 19 doors completely done.  I was unbelievably, ridiculously, immensely, overwhelmingly grateful and happy!

I put the hinges on and pre-hung them to make sure they all fit, because a 60-year-old house settles over time and things get out of level, out of plumb, and crooked.  We only had to slightly sand the side of one door.  Miracle!

In the meantime, I sanded and stained all the light wood laminate that is on the drawers and sides of cabinet bodies.  The dark really updated the overall look and turned out amazing.  I patched some spots and painted the walls & ceiling.  I really dislike painting, but was super happy to find that the original white paint from Ralph Lauren that we used to paint walls and ceiling 12 years ago was back!  I love the quality and color of this paint.  I was glad to get back to it, and leave the "color matching" behind! And even though I really hate painting, I will say, I'm actually quite good at it.

I went to my local NPS, a warehouse that carries various and sundry items, and found long bar handles, similar to this Liberty pull family, for 75% off.  I love a bargain!  It was dirty work, and took three trips to find enough that matched exactly, but it was worth it! (sorry for the crazy collage.  it's a lot, i know.)

The next step was paint for the cabinet doors.  Again, I felt fully capable of setting up a spray booth in my back yard and spraying them with my air compressor and a paint sprayer.  So I called another friend who is a cabinet maker by profession to ask what paint he suggested I use, to get the best finish.  The last thing I wanted was to get these doors finished and paint them with a latex paint that would peel off and ding and dent after one week.

He suggested a conversion varnish from PPG/Porter Paints.  And while I was asking about what the best sprayer tip would be he said he'd spray them for me, at a reasonable!  Does no one have faith in my abilities?  But really, do I care?  If it meant I didn't have to deal with paining and the result was professional, AND it fit our budget, it was a no-brainer.

He picked up the raw doors and then began the waiting.  It took much longer than I was anticipating to prep the doors for painting.  We had finished everything else and it was so hard to look at the door-less kitchen every day!

I had picked a Behr Lemon Lime Green at the beginning of the project and I was hooked. It's a slight problem when you try to match a paint chip to another paint brand & type.  He finally came for the paint chip, picked up the varnish, and luckily, brought it to me for approval.  It was waaaayyyy off, much too cool & shallow.  I was panicked!  I drove the paint up myself to the store, with the original chip, and sat at the desk (for an hour) and directed the adding of brown, yellow, and gold drop, by drop, until it was exact.  Or close enough that I knew that one more drop might ruin the entire thing, so I said "stay".  Lesson: get what you want and don't leave until you are satisfied.

When we finally got the doors back we still had to drill the holes for the hardware.  We had picked all the same size, so that made it simple to make one jig, and drill-press the holes.  We bought a cheap drill-press at Harbor Freight.  Bless them for their cheap tools.  It saved our marriage.  Stuff like this sends us both over the edge.

I snapped up the finished doors, added the handles, and hung them myself.  Being too insanely impatient to wait another second to be done.  The new hinges are fully adjustable: in, out, up, down. Piece of cake, even for me. Sure beat the pants off the old knife hinges.  

Those old things were never straight.

And here we are, finished at last!  

The under-cabinet puck lighting was something we did when we put in the tile counter-top in 2002.  We used WAC pucks, similar to these.  It makes the biggest difference, is so modern, brightens the counter up, and provides a great work environment.

EVERYTHING is covered!  And I'm loving my new Frigidaire gas range we put in January 2014.  

It's a miracle worker.

You can never have enough lighting in the kitchen, and this new fixed-track light has met my expectations.

If you think the kitchen has looked as clean since, you don't know me well.  Seriously.  I'm so glad I have these pics!  It was such a rewarding change.  I still don't have a dishwasher, but I'm okay with that.  Repetitive tasks relieve stress.  Or so they say.

Overall the entire kitchen cost less than $2,000.

The clever take-away for today is: it never hurts to ask.  The worst they can say is no, then you have to think of another way.  We all have talents, tools, skills, and resources to share.  I can hem jeans and suits and sew just about anything, and I wish my friends and acquaintances would ask for my help more often.  I love to help people.  If we all shared our different talents, what a community it would be!  

Tiny House Kitchen Remodel: The Floor

We bought our current home in 2002.  It is 1,000 square feet, with a full basement.  I loved it from the moment I first saw its dog-hair-coated, scratched, forlorn, dead-yard, red brick inner beauty.

We proceeded to repaint, re-tile, install new baseboard, new counter-top, add a shower to the powder room, and basically hose out and disinfect the entire thing.

It was very rewarding, but time-consuming and exhausting.  That was 12 years ago.  

We've been needing to re-do the kitchen, and many other things, for a few years now, but have been putting it off.  Because, you know, read above.

But when the girls went back to school we decided it was time.  And it was going to be my job. 

Not one to shy away from a little work, or a lot of work, I jumped right in.  Mostly to ensure that there was really no going back.  I needed commitment. 

Beginning Status: 

-Worn out glue-down cork tile flooring: best floor we've ever done, warm, non-breaking, but with three small kids I never re-coated it like you should wood-type floors.

-Original cabinet doors and hinges: built in 1963 it was about dang time.  slab doors, with ball knobs, and annoying knife hinges.

-No doors under the sink over the garbage.  They were dog-scratched to smithereens and we never put them back on.  

-No doors over the long dish bank of cabinets. At the time, I didn't have much to put in them so it became an aesthetic idea to leave them open.  Not so great with three big kids and 12 years...

-Original drawer faces: again, time. slabs with a single ball knob for a long 19-23" drawer face. no leverage for opening.

-No dishwasher.  Just me.  didn't want to sacrifice drawer or cabinet space for a washer to fit.

-Great double sink, perfect for washing dishes.

-Single lighting fixtures. All in the right places, double bulb (75 watt or higher) but old fashioned looking.

Update Plan:

-New cork glue-down tile flooring, darker this time for a change. It really is that good.

-New cabinet doors, shaker style, with new hinges. Lime Green. Long satin nickel pulls.

-Especially doors under the sink and to cover the dish bank.

-Dark stained drawer faces, cabinet side faces, & corner shelf stack, with long satin nickel handles to update look, and add leverage.

-Still no dishwasher. Shucks.

-New light fixtures. More light above sink, updated look. Chandelier above kitchen table. Unknown in cooking area.

-New baseboard and cabinet base trim.  Bye-bye original yellow linoleum yuckiness.

And that's it.  

At the time of the before photo, in the right picture I had painted over the old cork to see if I liked it chocolate color.  I didn't.  I'm so glad I tested it first.  I also had a tactic: as soon as I got the thumbs-up from Mr. I went to town painting and demolishing so that there was absolutely no chance of a change of heart.   Pretty thorough, eh?

The first order of business was to remove the old cork flooring.  The theory was that it would just peel up.  Yep.  I said theory.  After trying 4 different methods I settled on the air hammer.  It was slow and it made me feel like I had arthritis in every finger, hand, and upper body joint.  Thanks to the  help of my great friend Brooke, it took only 5 days to remove 123 square feet of cork.  The last day we rented a sander and ground off the remaining glue, down to the leveling cement we had poured 12 years ago.

I have no picture of the massive amounts of cement patching we did to undo a couple of ill-timed footprints in the original leveling cement pour.  That took another two days.

While I was killing myself in the removal process, I got a boost when the cork flooring came.  Yay!  We bought 

Silver Birch glue-down cork tiles.  

12" x 24" size

$2.99/square foot

from icorkfloor.com

see the product here

We bought Wakol D adhesive from them as well 

because it was recommended by the manufacture, and the last thing that needed to happen was 

ruined tiles.  You know that buying online is always cheaper. Don't be afraid to explore flooring options from a wide variety of sources.  Read reviews and product information.  It helps when you are married to the research man.

The process is rather simple.  Roll contact cement down on back of tile and floor section.  Allow to dry clear. Lay tile and roll down to get full contact.  The cork tiles are easily cut with a straight edge and razor knife.  The trickiest part is marking the first center tile parallel to the walls, so that the rest of the tiles are straight.  I removed myself from the room while this process was happening.  I want no guilt by association if it turns out crooked.

Thanks to husband & his brothers & dad, we got 123 sf laid in about 8 hours.

It turned out perfectly. The glue needs to cure for 48 hours.  Then it needs varnish.

We used water-based Bona Mega HD Clear Satin purchased from Amazon. It took about 1/2 gallon for two coats. Application took about 15 minutes, with a wait of 1 hour between coats.

The finish is super easy to use, even being a two-part formula, and it is extremely highly rated for durability, ease of application, and low odor.

We are thrilled with the results.  I'm so glad we went with the bamboo-color and look.  It warms up the space and lengthens it by having the grain run length-wise.  You can see the finished cabinet stain pairs nicely with the dark accents in the cork. (more on the cabinets soon)

It was a huge project, and I didn't even  mention the fact that the fridge and the oven were in the living room for 7 days, or that we cooked microwave dinners on the living room floor.  It gets old quickly, as any DIY-er can attest to.  But it was worth every minute of back breaking work to have a finished product like this.  

The benefits of cork are that it is really warm and soft feeling for walking, & when you drop things, they rarely break.  The cork will ding if you drop a sharp edge on it, but the pattern and texture are really good at camouflaging it.  

I will say that since we put in the new floor I've developed spidey-hands.  

Nothing. Lands. On. This. Floor. 

Saving money by DIY is oh, so clever! How will you improve your living space?