I have many ideas swirling in my head about this blog. I have tried several of them. And I still feel at a loss, wandering the the miasma of the homemaking blogging world. I am not a super-crafter. I am not a photographer. I am a woman, living a life with her family, making a home that is focused on God and family and struggling vainly to keep all the loose ends tied down.
I like to call it organic. I think that means "lifestyle blog". Am I right? I don't know. All I know is that my life involves many aspects, just like most women I know. And over the summer things just got complicated, overwhelming, frazzled, and filled with fun with my kids. I know I promised posts about free activities, parties, and food, but then life happened. It has an annoying habit of doing that.
I've been dealing with an elephant in the room for the past 18 months. It is big. I want it to go away. It is annoying and disruptive, and I like to ignore it. It has changed many things about our family life, the way we do things. Some of them have been good changes, and some have been bad. I can't share them all with you now, but I will start today with a little introduction to our big elephant.
My husband, Lance, has an un-diagnosed medical condition, sickness, ailment, whatever you want to call it. We can't call it anything because no one knows what it is. And it is deeply frustrating.
In February 2014 he had something that felt like a heart attack, which it wasn't, and for the next month we went to the ER probably 3 times for similar pain, as well as pain in the upper left quadrant of his abdomen. He was scanned, ultrasounded, tested, CT'd, and every time came out 100%.
The only test he partially failed, as in 2% below allowable threshold, was a gall bladder ejection fracture, so it was decided to take that out. It didn't help.
He went on a feeding tube for 18 days in March 2014, lost 30 lbs, started feeling better, went to the University of Utah Gastroenterology department, and was scoped through every inch of his digestive tract. 100%. No answers.
He was having neck pain in August 2013 related to a bulging disc. Finally found a doctor who admitted it was a problem and was willing to fix it. Lance had Mobi-C disc replacement surgery between C6-C7 February of 2015. It was a success, but still not a resolution to the overarching problem.
So while we feel blessed that he's not riddled with tumors, and that he keeps passing tests, we are beyond frustrated and tired of hearing that there is nothing anyone can do to help him. We would love to have something to treat, to fight, to fix.
His energy is really low. Simple things exhaust him. He still has major headaches, pain in his abdomen, and now severe acid reflux, after the removal of his gall bladder. And it all seems to be getting worse, rather than better.
We are so blessed that he is still able to work and provide for our family. Having income, insurance, savings, and the other intangibles that being employed brings, makes us feel as if we can continue to search and fight for answers.
It has put our life on hold, however. We have 15-, 13, & 11-year-old daughters, and it has been a real challenge to keep life going for them while our life is in limbo. They are the sweetest girls, taking care of him, and me, and helping us have joy in our family and home. I know they are learning a lot. Hopefully mostly good things...
I have completely lost faith in the healing power of the medical industry. Nowhere can we find a doctor who is willing and able to start with the history, look at his global problem, think outside the box, keep in contact, and keep on trying to help my husband heal.
Throughout the past 18 months we have been surrounded by angels; family and friends who reach out in sympathy, empathy, and just listen. I am forever grateful for them, and still rely on them heavily.
The end is not near, we have no answers, there is no plan, we are on our own. I have a stack 3 feet high of books on healing your gut through food. I won't lie, it's a daunting task. I struggle to get dinner on the table without having to worry about dietary restrictions. It frightens me. And we still aren't sure if it is his gut at all.
But we have to keep trying. We haven't been given trials so we can give up. God has made us strong enough to make it through the kaleidoscope of challenges this experience presents. We will conquer, we are just unsure of when that will be and how it will happen.
So in between crafts, recipes, fitness, nails, and fashion, tips, and other ways I try to hold on to my sanity, I'll be sharing a little bit more about the big elephant in our life, and how it affects our family. This is the thing that will refine my family and make us fit for eternity, but it sure feels a lot like it's strangling the life out of me at the same time.
I look forward to sharing our journey with you in the hopes that I'll be able to make connections with women in the same boat, because I know there are a lot of you out there. And it wouldn't hurt if we found the answer to his health crisis in the process. And kept me sane. That would be awesome.
Lots of love!
Emily, I read this post a while ago and have been thinking about you and Lance ever since. My heart goes out to you two, as a friend and as a nurse. I assure you that you are not alone in the undiagnosable ailment arena. I have a personal friend/co-worker who has found someone that has been able to treat her/her family members when many others could not. Contacting you about this has been on my mind for a while so just do what you feel is best with the info! This nurse practitioner might be able to help. Her name is Martha Bray. Her clinic is on shepherd lane in Farmington. Her phone number is 801 4478680. She's wonderful but expensive, out of your pocket expensive. She's super busy, so when you call to make an appointment, make an appointment but also ask to be placed on the cancellation list because her appointments are generally 3 to 4 months out. They may try and book you with someone else, but I wouldn't recommend that.
ReplyDeleteHopefully things have gotten better since this post in September. Jake saw Lance and the girls while he was getting his hair cut a few weeks ago. He said the girls look very grown ups for even want to tend our kids! Too cute!
I've never seen his practitioner myself but my friend is a very high standard nurse and she has been very impressed. I guess just take that recommendation for what it's worth. Best of luck in he new year!
Kori Richards